Art

Fatherhood is a blessing. Not everyone is given the chance to be a father. It is both a privilege and a responsibility. There is no perfect father, but that does not mean one should stop striving to be one. There is no perfect father and yet fathers have many options on how they can make their children love them for who they are, and that is almost as close as being the perfect father in the eyes of those who appreciate them. Fatherhood is complex, the complexities of life that the father is thrust into molds and defines the father. Even with these differences, there is no better father over the other only those who did more and those who did less, those whose actions led them to a particular place and condition, and those who opted for the other path at the crossroads. There is no individual who can claim to be the perfect authority on fatherhood, and yet, what every father has to say about fatherhood has a meaning and significance. These things are borne out of experience, not something that cannot be bought or easily asked for or take from anyone. There are many ways to define the real meaning and the real ethos and essence of being a father and fatherhood. For most people, the likely course of action is finding that one personal experience that encapsulates how the father feels that leads him towards the understanding of what fatherhood and being a father is all about.

Fatherhood means being there for your children, not just as the financial of the things that the children need, but also as a source of emotional and psychological strength especially during formative years. Being a father means knowing the strengths of the children and harnessing them. Being a father means being able to understand the concept of work and play for both the parent and the children, the father acting the role of providing the balance necessary for the discipline of the children (Cosby, 1986, p. 172). All of these things can be seen in an experience. My two sons - Dallas and Tyson - are very smart kids. As a father, I dont push them to just one direction. I am supportive of their educational experience but I also encourage them to enjoy life and do other things, things that they actually want and enjoy doing. One of the things that I noticed about them is that they are both enjoying playing video games. While other parents might restrict them or find this inclination as a point of concern since it may affect school, I encourage them not just to enjoy video games but also to find out for themselves the need to strike a balance between video games and the other aspects of their life. Here, I was able to see how their being smart comes into play again.

They actually understand the responsibility. As a father, it does not mean that I need to be authoritative all the time and that it helps in their healthy growth that I also create an atmosphere of autonomy for my two children as well as for my wife Andrea. Because of this, we all are able to enjoy more life and living - not apart but together. There are less friction to worry about. During weekends when we all sit down and play video games, I can see how smart my two kids are based on how they approach situations in the game. I think this form of critical thinking can also help them form a sound and solid personality as they grow up. As a father, part of my responsibility is to make sure that positive aspects like this remain unhampered to help the child grow and make them confident (Horn, Blankenhorn, Pearlstein, 1999, p. 50). Fatherhood then, means acting and playing many different roles and wearing different hats  guardian, protector, provider or breadwinner which is a traditional role (Parke, 1996, p. 1), friend, the voice of reason and encouragement and the hand of guidance, compassion and love, among others.

Overall, this experience encapsulates the essence of fatherhood - the need to know how to define a sense of balance in everything and to be responsible enough in making sure that this sense of balance is maintained so that the family benefits in the end. Fatherhood is a fulltime job that requires the juggling of many different things. To be successful in it, the key is achieving balance  balance between work and play, balance in being a father and a friend and in being a husband and a father, the balance between exerting authority and providing autonomy, the balance between leading the way and allowing the other members of the family to the beat and rhythm of their own drums, the balance in what the father provides for the children including education, health, welfare and play etc.